The revelation that comes with knowing that you are in control of your own narrative, regardless of your past trauma, can be freeing. For Lauren Luiz, otherwise known as girlhouse, this realization led to the conception of her newest single, "loaded gun."
The track begins with Luiz's bright vocal, accompanied by electric guitar and the steady beat of drums. This euphoric, indie-rock sound is a newer sonic direction for her, as she's also a member of the folk-pop band WILD. Though sonically the two are different, her transition from a three-piece folk band to a solo rock artist appears to be seamless. girlhouse became her creative outlet for her own creative passions, but due to her connection with bandmate and producer Tyler Thompson, she felt like he was the only one that could make her dreams come to fruition, so he came on as the producer of the project.
As the last single before the release of her EP in May, "loaded gun" serves as an ode to reclaiming your life when it's gotten away from you. She sings, "Looks like I've become what I was running from / In our apartment in the middle of the city / I’m screaming at the top of my lungs / It looks like I've become what I was running from." Her neutral tone indicates that she's made peace with this sentiment, while her lyrics seem to be fighting against the version of herself that she's become.
Of the song Luiz says, "'loaded gun' is about inherited trauma and the bummer of becoming everything you said you never would. I feel like forgiving people from your past for abuse or neglect that happened to you when you were young and vulnerable is SO important to start forgiving yourself. This song is a moment when I recognized inherited bad behavior and wanting to take control of my future." "loaded gun" seems to be an offering to not only herself, but to others battling trauma, that gives anyone listening permission to forgive themselves so they can move forward.
Featured Image by Alex Justice