Action Bronson – Saaab Stories

It’s hard to imagine Action Bronson paring down his songs with producer Harry Fraud to just seven, when a year ago they had enough material to drop two LPs. But it is what it is. EP Saaab Stories (three a’s for logistical purposes) is a 25-minute field trip into Bronson’s unconscious, a Magic School Bus ride into the Queens emcee’s wildest dreams and darkest fantasies. It’s the kind of music you hide from your mother, lest she acquire a fetish for Saganaki.

There must be something in the New York water. First George Costanza, now Bronson. The two pear-shaped New Yorkers are the only entertainers I know of to synchronize their lust for women with their appetites. If you haven’t seen “The Mango”, I suggest you do your research. On Saaab Stories, Bronson rarely strays from his comfort zone of exotic whores and decadent cuisine, kneading the two together to make dough.

Singles “Strictly 4 My Jeeps” and “The Rockers” hook the audience in, the former with its viral music video, the latter with its guest feature. “Jeeps” hit the net on May 20, showcasing the direction of filmmaker Jason Goldwatch. The video’s buxom beauties are a cue to laugh, even when Bronson rhymes about Saddam Hussein and demolishing vaginas. “The Rockers”, featuring Wiz Khalifa, is more of a braggadocio track, as Bronson and Khalifa boast about their exotic lifestyles.

Deeper into the project the production grows darker, and so do the rhymes. Fraud, a white dude from Brooklyn with great hair, has a knack for blending popular trap sounds with colorful melodies. “Alligator” has a stuttering clap to it, a manic energy. For the first three minutes Bronson lets his imagination soar to superhuman heights, rhyming, “Lay in the tropics, my girl pussy red like a lobster. Orgies at Hofstra.” But by the end he returns to Earth. “A bit disturbed, confessions in a journal. I’m sickened by my thoughts so it’s tossed in the inferno."

“Seven Series Triplets” is another standout. Fraud lays a hard bassline, adding cymbals and some accelerated strings. Prodigy and Raekwon contribute guest verses, talking slick as always. Rae concludes the EP talking shit about gold forks.

Though arranged to be accessible to a variety of rap fans, from those who laugh at it to those who live it, Saaab Stories is not for everyone. I played Blue Chips the other day and my brother thought it was disgusting how Bronson coughs all over “9-24-11.” But that’s his opinion. There’s no hacking or horking on Saaab Stories, but there is a lot of fucking, porking and talk of Asian vaginas. There’s also some cool sounds, and a rhyme about amethyst.