My Valentines Day ft. The Chainsmokers

Growing up, my mum had one of those cupboards in the kitchen that was completely overloaded and would be considered a health and safety risk in most homes worldwide. She used to say to me “one day that will all fall on you if you’re not careful.” Despite being unable to possibly be anymore careful and my mum not just making the area safe, the cupboard inevitably toppled and I was surrounded by a clutter of pots and pans. I’ve spent 15 years trying to forget that noise and on Valentines Day 2018 – it came back to haunt me.

It’s no secret that my taste in music is not genre-specific. If I can connect with it on any level, I’ll try it. I try as hard as I can not to be a “music snob” and although seeing The Chainsmokers on Valentines Day is actually my idea of H E L L on earth, my girlfriends were going and after some encouragement from the rest of the EARMILK family, I agreed. I’m not scared of a new experience, and genuinely saw this is as a challenge and went with full hope that I’d leave impressed. I soon realised that was optimistic at best.

I'm going to try and kick this off on a high note. The Chainsmokers consists of American DJ and Production Duo Alex Pall and Andrew Taggart who first shot to fame with the release of my personal most hated song of all time "Selfie," way back in 2014. They've come a long way since the track, releasing debut EP Bouquet which reached the Top 10 on the US Billboard Hot 100. They've also had a Number 1 and won a Grammy. I can't argue with that.

Following on with the high notes, I'm going to move on to the show itself which was held at London venue Alexandra Palace. Everything else aside – the production was absolutely phenomenal. When I wasn't being blinded by the noise, watching the stage become a completely new setting for every single song which was pretty special. I even softened towards The Chainsmokers for a moment (only a moment because I soon remembered that their job was to make the music – not the stage). The one song which I've listened to of theirs from start to finish which I'm actually quite keen on is "Roses" and I have to say it was a joy to hear the first chorus sung live with no disappointing bass breaks and a stripped back 30 seconds. These are my high notes.

The men responsible

I've really struggled on where to start with the music on offer that evening. I've obviously heard snippets of a few tracks on the radio so I expected that they'd be performing their own songs. I didn't expect to walk in to the middle of a DJ set and I immediately felt like I should have researched a little more what the live performance would consist of. The entire show, bar original tracks by the duo, consisted of songs which didn't really ever deserve such poor remixing. I now refer to back to my story RE pots and pans, and the post-traumatic sound experience The Chainsmokers gave me. The best of these edits (who I'm not sure is entirely responsible for producing) was Major Lazer "Pon De Floor" and the worst, which I still can't believe I'm typing, was an unforgivable edit of "Circle Of Life" from The Lion King – although I can say with confidence the visuals were some of the best I've seen. Finally, without directly suggesting The Chainsmokers were out to murder each and every single one of my favourite songs, "I Fall Apart" by Post Malone was given an unnecessary bassy-trap-EDM makeover (COMPLETE WITH LASERS) as was Ashanti "Only U" – which is nothing short of a criminal offence. I can't find it within me to talk about the Swedish House Mafia remix.

To say nobody had a good time would be a lie. Everyone in the crowd looked ecstatic, which says something for fans of The Chainsmokers. The pair clearly delivered exactly what the crowd expected. I think that maybe its time to accept I am just so far removed from the genres that evening I was left feeling completely confused.

If I have offended you I apologise, but if you are a fan of The Chainsmokers – their new single "You Owe Me" is out now on Disruptor Records / Columbia Records. Follow THIS link to stream/purchase.