&Tilly pays ode to those fought to stay on "The Bitter Pill," a quietly empowering indie folk anthem laden with gentle guitars, twinkling mandolin, and emotive vocals. Framed by clarity and strength, the tender offering is about staying and trying even – and especially – when it feels like everything is falling apart.
Laden with poetic sensibility that feels vulnerable and encouraging all at once, the track is dreamy and ethereal as it weaves through layers of relatable emotions.
In conversation with Earmilk, &Tilly dives into the message behind "The Bitter Pill," keeping motivated in tough times and sonic evolution, among other things.
1.What is the message behind ‘The Bitter Pill’?
The song throws you into a situation in a relationship where you kind of think it’s over. It feels like losing – the other one, all the time and energy you spent to build it, and still being in that kind of half-ruin that needs more work but is probably hopeless… but then, it starts thinking. Yeah, the song, and your mind starts to look at it closer and think it over, and comes to the solution that, actually, it’s all worth it. All’s going to be fine, eventually. Because it’s the love, the other person, the one by your side, that will save you, and that makes all that pain and hardship worth enduring.
It’s important to mention here that the song started with another artist, a friend of mine, An Early Bird, having a base written that he told me he’d never release, and that he could see me making something out of it. I changed it to make it… well, mine, and, especially, added that hope, that revelation to it. It was, still is, a bit of a bitter song (thus the name, too, which was also changed to match that metaphor of getting over that hardship), but I tried to light a light there that shines despite the mellowness.
2.How would you say your sound has evolved over time?
I think it was always gentle, vulnerable, and even kind of poetry-adjacent, floating on words and sounds… I was always thinking it was a bit unsure – because that’s who I am, never sure I am right, doing well, having a right to live, to be here. But with time, it went from there to a much dreamier, layered, ethereal kind of sound, embracing that vulnerability instead of being worried about it.
3.You describe the track as a “sister song” to “At a Cost” – did that happen consciously? What is your creative process in general? Do your sonic narratives unfold naturally/spontaneously, or is it intentional?
I take those two songs, "The Bitter Pill" and "At a Cost" as “sister songs” because of their closeness in sound, this indie folky, gentle, dreamy kind of feel, and also because of the thematic closeness, too. Both sit somewhere around the seeming end of a relationship, but they unfold differently – "At a Cost" with the goodbye, the actual goodbye, and the getting ready for what comes after, and "The Bitter Pill" with the other road taken, the acceptance of the hardship and the continuing despite it, because, well, the love and the other person, want it or not, are actually the thing to redeem you (from destruction, loneliness, and much more).
I think they are kind of like the younger and the older sister, one deciding on a path of leaving, the other a bit more mature, going forward, and leaning on their other half. I’m not sure if it was conscious to “make” them sisters, but it felt right, logical, in my head, which also, sonically, made sense to go in a similar direction, even if they definitely don’t sound the same. I also think my voice, and the vulnerable nature of both songs, ties them together a lot
4.Who inspires you both professionally and personally?
I’m not sure. I mean, there’s a ton of musicians out there that I like, love to listen to, admire their skill… but I don’t have one or a couple that would, at least knowingly, inspire and influence my personality or my music. It’s more the other way around – I sometimes hear people comparing me to some musicians (Lamb was a project that was popping up a lot as a comparison to us at one point), and then we have to check what, why, where we are close to them. Knowing that, I think, can influence one going forward.
But really, I think it’s… life that influences me, in all aspects, by far the most. There’s a lot of hope, but also pain, a lot of trying to fit in, and then the realization that I won’t, and meeting so many people who put you down or lift you up… All that changes me, and our music, too. So much has happened in my life that I feel like I’ve lived maybe six of them. Often, I feel old, haha. I’d say everyone’s life has that, in one way or another, and life leaves such a mark that I think it’s very present in everything we do, from our jobs and relationships to what we create.
5. With the message of the track in mind, what has kept you motivated in tough times? What made you stay amidst difficulties?
I often feel lost or alone. I think it can be felt throughout my music and lyrics, at least if you listen closely.
What keeps me going are, for sure, the ones closest to me, sometimes keeping me on my feet even if I really don’t want to go on anymore. Those little acts of good that remind you you’re worth staying, paired with music, its creation but also sheer existence, is, I’d say, why I’m still here.
6.What would you say has been the most rewarding/surreal moment in your career so far?
To me, it’s still surreal I get to create music. That’s something that I didn’t believe possible, real, “for me,” for most of my life. To finally let go and accept I can is… taking my breath away. Still.
A less “vague” highlight would, however, probably be our excitement to be asked to play at an alternative / electronic festival here in Czechia (Rosnicka), just so, out of nowhere, with the organizers saying, I’m loosely quoting here, “We found some of your music by random chance, and it’s like a… revelation.” It’s just incredible to me, to hear someone can be taken aback by our little project, by our ideas and sound.
7.Finally, what’s one question no one has asked you so far you wish you were asked?
I’d say I’d want to be asked (publicly) about the most awesome food / edible thing in the world. And want to answer that it’s lychee.
I think (fresh) lychee is extremely underrated; the taste itself is just pure pleasure. And I think people should eat it more. Or… actually, scratch that, I don’t want them to eat lychee more, not really, because… if they don’t eat it, there’s more lychee for me!
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